Ethereal Avery

the ethereal

Ethereal Avery

There, as they say, is an old soul.  An old bald soul.  As shot at the pediatrician appointment today.  That is the image of a girl that has gained nearly a pound in a week.  Marjorie has been a soldier, grinding away at feedings every three hours round the clock (Avery has been great as well).  Grab your calculators and confirm that means 56 of the last 168 hours manning the milk station.  I was going to say milk cannons but it seemed gauche.  So I didn’t.  Did not.  Stop grinning.  You’ll get me in trouble.  So immature.

Now, that 56 hours is conservative, because Marjorie wasn’t holding back.  If Avery wanted more than an hour at the Milk Bar, then she was welcome to it.  I frequently jumped in with the bottle, but if we’re going to be fair, this was Marjorie’s campaign, and a chubby cherubic Avery her one shining goal.  Respect.  And mission accomplished.

The doc said we’re doing great.  Pepper is into the 15th percentile for weight – that’s a mile high leap from last week.  Doc Chris says, “Keep it up.”

I says, “Pardon?”

In the end, with no physical threats whatsoever, we agreed that waking Avery for feedings every three hours isn’t necessary, so long as we keep up the calorie flood.  On demand feeding is fine.  Little bunny will be at the pumps (stop it, you) at her command, with followup formula fortification.  We’ll weigh her again in a week, and if she’s still gaining strong (at this rate she’ll be playing women’s rugby by Christmas, and men’s rugby by New Year’s) then we can ease off the formula.  Mum wants a breast-fed baby.  I’m a little more relaxed on the subject, figuring that so long as Avery gets all the breast milk she wants, and we just keep the tank full with formula, she’ll have all the benefit and none of the detriment.  Also, I would like to rescue my wife from under the baby and/or breast pump so she can feel human for a few hours every day.  Like a prisoner with his one hour of daylight.  Not that she would ever even consider looking at it that way.  She loves being a mom.  And she’s very good at it.  It’s very fun to watch.  Still, a husband wants to help.  Both his girls.  And I like feeding Avery!  Quite a lot.

Hey!  Look at this moron!  He’s still up at 1am because his kid’s doctor said he could sleep more now!  sigh.

On the biz side, CBcom is in the tweaks stage.  Exciting.  The software project is negotiating its next phase.  Awesome.  The… what vague title do I use for this… I dunno.  TV series project.  There.  The TV series project is developing nicely.  Super great.  We can write us some comedy.  Us we can.

And I just chatted with my sister on FB about Christmas plans.  We’re just getting started.  We have some dates.  That’s a good start.  Will run them by my beloved wife in the morning, after we’ve had a relatively spectacular night’s sleep.  Robyn ducked out before I could make sure we’ll be seeing plentiful and awesome pics of my nephews in Halloween costume, so here I am doing that.  See that, darling sister?  Oh I’m looking at you.  Making sure.  We’ll be seeing.  Pics.  Aplenty.

That does it.  I’m going to bed.

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definitely not my daughter

another bunny

I don’t have a new picture of my little bunny today, so here is a different bunny.

That not my daughter!

Today, despite the lack of pictures, was better.  Partly because I managed an hour and a half nap yesterday.  Essential survival at this stage.  Also, Avery is eating like an eating machine that eats quite a lot.  She didn’t nap so well, and she had a couple momentous squawks, but her chubby little cheeks make it all ok.  Mum decided that despite the purported benefits of fenugreek, it’s off the list, because side effects can include a restless squawky baby.  Not the existence of one, which can’t really be blamed on the fenugreek, but the behavior.

For those of you that are shopping for such things, the Avent bottle we got as a freebie at BuyBuyBaby has turned out to to be the best of our little collection of baby bottles.  It features a low flow nipple.  As any baby burper will tell you, less air swallowed is a good thing.  That low flow nipple thing – that was new for me.  I had no idea they came in flows.  Important.  Also, keep her at a gentle angle so it’s easy to swallow, and hold the angle of the bottle so that the nipple is always full (remember the air thing), but no higher – no need to drown her.  If she starts dribbling more than she’s swallowing, give her a break.  She needs to catch her breath (or she’s just chewing on it).  She’ll squawk, but that’s fine for a few seconds.  She’s just being indignant.  It’s a good opportunity for a mid-stream burping.  Do not neglect the burping for any reason.  That includes a diaper change.  Burp first.  Do not under any circumstances give her a warm bath before burping her.  You’re welcome.  Nobody wants to take a shower at 4:30 in the morning.  Unless it’s a vacation travel day.  Then I will do that thing.  But always remember the burping.  To put it gently, less air in the stomach means more room for keeping the liquids down.

Interestingly, we haven’t used a bib yet.  We cut up a few of my old super soft brushed cotton t-shirts.  Awesome.  I imagine that will change with the volume and blast radius of her meals.  Or would it be more politic to say “share radius”.  Ha.

Current favourite baby essential – the swing.  Without the twenty minute break it buys us, nothing could get done.  You know how, when our friends or friends of friends started having kids and they told us all their woes?  How sleep was a forgotten luxury, and how they couldn’t get the simplest tasks done in less than quadruple the time it used to take?  And how we all sympathized but quietly thought they were probably just out of their depth?  And how we could probably do better?  Well… I have a better understanding now.  I like to think of myself as a strong organizer, in the sense that because of my advanced laziness, I can crystalize any mess down to its component pointy bits and grind them out.  For example, I keep the house pretty clean because I hate huge cleanup jobs.  A pretty constant low-level maintenance is much easier to deal with than a disaster zone.  Because of this sciencified laze, I have identified the baby maintenance essentials, including love and attention, and I can hit those targets as they come.  Stay ahead of it, or it will overwhelm you, is the heart of what I’m saying.  To bring me back to the original path of this ramble (still with me?  yay!) I can say with confidence that despite having a firm grasp of everything that Little Peppermint needs to live and grow, happy and healthy, and despite having an excellent partner in Avery’s mom, and despite having a life-long proven record of systematizing in the pursuit of avoiding great effort, I can say that I have no frickin idea where the time goes.

There are two of us.  You’d think that would by definition leave one person free to, I don’t know, handle the world beyond that tiny little girl’s orbit.  Take shifts.  Tag off.  Get stuff done.  That’s what I always thought.  That’s what every dad in the Western World has believed with casual confidence since… well, since there was a Western World.

Yet we get up, change a diaper, warm a bottle, breast feed, pump, have breakfast– you know what: Marjorie and I have already tried this exercise.  It doesn’t translate on paper.  The numbers just aren’t there.  And it’s not because we’re bad at this.  Without feeling cocky about it I think we’re doing a pretty great job.  It’s just that, somehow, despite having two capable and level-headed people on the job, the hours drain away.

I think it’s just that we’re used to Accomplishing Things.  Things that can be Checked Off The List.  You could count the Things Done Today.  And these days, the math has changed.  Fuzzy logic.  Imaginary numbers.  Quantum physics.  Raising a baby takes a massive amount of energy.  Very flexible, patient, and loving energy.  Forget your systems.  Well, I take that back.  Let’s say that systems have to be designed around that most enormous of all random elements: baby.  Having two people on the job means having someone with whom you can commiserate.  It doesn’t mean the effort is neatly cut in half.  Just a sec while I LOL.

Look at the clock.  Nearly 1am again.  Foolish mortal.  Marjorie went to bed before 10.  She’s a smart lady.  I am a silly man who likes to write at the deep end of the day.

Time to go.  The center of my universe needs changing.

Hey.  Did you hug somebody?  Like I asked?

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thom thom thom

nom nom thom

thom thom thom

I may very well print that one poster size.

The campaign to pack the pounds onto Little Peppermint continues.  She’s happy, sleeps like a log, and glows like a cherub.  Her parents are feeling the drag, though.  Feeding every three hours.  And every feeding takes around an hour.  So there’s your math.  Can’t take shifts, either.  M handles the first round, then I deliver a couple ounces in a bottle, then a final visit with Mum.  Throw in a diaper change – which might escalate to a bath (and in one case a shower).  Christie and Brad call this The Three Month Tunnel.  At least we have a nightly routine of sorts.  And she’s happy!  We go back to the pediatrician on Thursday for another weigh-in, and after that we can play around with the schedule a bit.  Her tummy will have stretched, so she can eat more at a go, and sleep longer between.  Maybe something approaching the first few weeks.  A man can hope.

While waiting for a bottle to warm up today I introduced her to her thumb and she loved it with enthusiasm for a couple minutes before it slipped out of her mouth and she couldn’t find it again.  Adorable.

We successfully filed the application for Avery’s US passport today.  Took ages in the lineup despite only two parties in front of us.  But once we got up there it took a while to get a good pic of Avery, so fair enough.  It just takes time.  Good news – pretty much any authorized pic of an infant is acceptable, so she slept right through the procedure.  Three times.  Maybe we’ll share the outtakes.

In work-related news, the CBcom website testing is looking good.  Hopefully the rest of the team has also had a chance to get in there.  We are on track to launch in the next week, for sure.  On the software front, our Italian team has signed off on the work done by the Indian team, and we’re moving forward.  I haven’t had a chance to look at the fixes yet, but I’ve got confidence in Paolo’s judgement.  So, on to the next component.  Seriously – does anyone know any strong coders who would like to make some honest money for some challenging but very fun work?  This could be career-making.  Send them my way.

Midnight again.  Shnykees, dude.  Go to bed.  You know why I stay up?  This is the window when I know I’ve got a couple hours without interruption.  For thinking, sorting, cogitating.  A train of thought without a destination.  Or a track, I suppose.  Other than keeping my commitment to writing here every day.  It’s not a diary, but it’s… really nice to write.  I wonder if I could write a novel with these nightly windows?  I know it’s been done by other fathers.  Mothers too, I’d bet.  I wonder.  Something to think about.  Tomorrow night.

Go hug somebody.  Ask them what’s up.  Listen.  If you do it right, you will be surprised.  Them too.

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