avery

How about that vice presidential debate?  Where in the world did Mighty Barnbuster Biden come from?  That was great fun to watch.  Finally somebody on stage laughed in the face of nonsensical (and empty) Republican rhetoric.  I needed that.

But enough about comedy.

We’ve reached an interesting crossroads.  Little bunny will yell at the top of her lungs for an awe inspiringly long time, and then, if she doesn’t fall asleep, she’ll hang out with calm lucidity.  The game apparently has only three settings.  I’m looking forward to the “playtime” upgrade and the “conversation” expansion pack.

The meltdowns were hard at first, because like all new parents we took them personally.  There was clearly something she needed, and we couldn’t figure out what it was.  If we were good parents who cared about our little girl, it would be clear what she needed, and her suffering would be relieved.  But we were horrible, helpless, ignorant parents who were baffled by her marathon purple-faced yelling.

Now, I efficiently go down the troubleshooting checklist, and if she’s otherwise in great shape, I just have fun with it.  Like a puzzle.  Find the right key for this particular lock, and *pop* she’s good like it never happened.  Seriously, she’ll look around wondering what all the fuss was about.  Comedy rascal.

It’s never the same thing twice in a row, so you gather a bag of tricks – the soother (the tip of my little finger often works), the swaddle, flip her on her side, shushing or white noise, the swing.  Sometimes it’s a change of scenery.  The Bjorn is proving quite powerful, but not irresistible.  Nothing works every time.  So long as you know it’s not you – remember that troubleshooting checklist – you can relax and have fun with the puzzle.  Probably you should take her out of the public spaces though.  Out of respect for everybody else.  So they don’t want to kill your family.

Funny, before she was born I was that guy.  On the plane, at a restaurant.  A baby would shriek on and on, and my shoulders would creep up into a cringe, and I’d want to go rattle their parents and tell them to fix their kid.  I understood that babies can’t help it, and toddlers get overtired, but I didn’t get it.  They howl at a frequency that demands attention – scientifically proven.  So surely I can be forgiven for my impatience.  In my defense, I never actually rattled any parents.

Now, though.  I have developed Parents’ Ear.  The yelling is noted, steps are taken, but I don’t cringe.  I have to remind myself to get us out of the public spaces if she doesn’t settle down pretty quickly.  I hereby tender my apology to many parents whom I may have misjudged.  Not all, mind you.  Said parent has to make an effort.  You can’t just let her shriek.  You have an obligation to her and to your fellow passengers/patrons to calm her down.  And may I point out for the record that you will never (ever) do that by yelling back, and definitely no hitting.  Think of it this way – if you’d object to a given behaviour in your child, how is it acceptable for you to do that very thing to your child?  What are you going to do when she hits you back?  Besides, ever meet anyone who gained a positive lesson from negative reinforcement?  Show me someone who says they did and I’ll show you a dick who does the same thing to their kid their parents did to them.

Bit of a rant, there.  I just think a family needs at least one grownup.  Don’t ever hit someone who can’t hit you back.

Anywhoo… speaking of family, Gramma Di and Grampa Bob came over today to hang with Avery and check out our ‘hood.  Approval on all points.  Avery was a little more social (briefly) and it was a gorgeous sunny day for a walk along the water.  Then Marjorie took Avery up to Astoria for a La Leche meeting with a couple of the new moms from our Bradley Method course.  I took the folks to the Mexican joint down the road for dinner.  Good food.  Excellent tequila menu (for next time, maybe).  More approve.  Good times.

Meanwhile, work continues to seep back in.  The several projects under my wing are happily continuing development despite my divided attention.  Totally worth the massive effort before B-Day.  Avery Day?

The CBcom site rebuild is looking great.  Such a strong move handing the work off to people with the time and skill to do it right.  We had a budget, they are executing within it, and the site is going to rock.  I’ll direct you there when the time is right, if you’re interested.  A couple more weeks?  I’ve lost track.  Ha.

And the software division.  Ho ho!  I’ve connected the Italian team with a small code house in India, and we’re expecting Good Things.  We should be in closed beta before the end of January.  I’ll tell you more about it when I can.  Of course it’s hush hush!  This thing is going to make the world a better place, in its own easy to use, stress-relieving, details managing, business-improving way.  Sometimes I worry about the people it might put out of work, but then I remind myself that this will free them up to open businesses of their own, using our software.  And so on.  Giggity.

And the writing.  Since Avery happened, and with Matt getting an awkwardly scheduled day job, our writing sessions have suffered.  Chaos has only managed a handful of meetings in the last six weeks or so.  Not good.  No sir.  That’s no way to build an entertainment empire.  That said, our feature script (as I’ve mentioned) has been tweaked to the breaking point.  Once we start showing it to the right people, things could move quickly.  Same for the Canada-China script competition.  If we’re selected, and we nail the pitch, suddenly we’re flipping an entire feature from synopsis to distribution in less than a year.  The same year we’re developing a series with “unnamed A-List talent for unnamed premium cable channel”.  The same year we’re shopping our other TV series.  The same year we’re launching game-changing software.  The same year the education division of the company exponentially expands its market.  The same year–

Oh, Adrian.  Enough playtime jibber jabber.  Go fall asleep next to your lovely wife and child.

Hugs for all.

Camera shy?  Sun shy.  It was a bright day for a sleepy girl.  She burrowed.

Speaking of sleeping, we’ve been helping Avery sleep more deeply with white noise.  Seems to work well.  There’s no magic bullet, but we find that once she’s managed to get past the resistance phase, she’s more able to stay down for a couple hours or more.  That’s a nice.  On the down side, it’s a constant stimulus for me.  Hard to get to sleep.  I’m sure it’s tied up with my affinity for music, my training as a sound mixer, and my sensitivity to annoying noise when I’m trying to sleep.  Doesn’t bother M a bit, of course.

Last night I stayed up til 2 cobbling together a 5-hour long mix of virtual waterfall.  It favours lower frequencies – more soothing to papa bears.  Hopefully it works just as well for her.  Seems to me it would be more womb-like.  iPhone speakers aren’t cutting it, either.  We’ll try some inexpensive Logitechs before we shell out for Wharfedales, but who can put a price on a good night’s sleep?

All this is supposed to get us through the “fourth trimester“.  We don’t know why she gets so wound up, but she looks so relieved when she can finally relax.  So it’s about helping her get there.  Gentle when she needs it.  A firm swaddle when she needs that.  The diaper change tantrum… well… the diaper still has to be changed.  We have yet to try the blow dryer.

Oh but when she’s happy!  What a doll!  She’s just starting to discover smiling.  Mum and dad love to see that hint of a smile!  She watches mum’s face with rapt attention.  Mum sticks out her tongue.  Avery works on that for a few seconds, and manages to get that tiny little pink tongue poking out.  Mum laughs in delight, and Avery smiles.  We laugh some more.  And so on.  Just yesterday she wasn’t as present.  And less so three days before that.  But today, we all had some smiles.  She was even willing to play the game again with me.  Fun!

My mom & dad are in town.  First time in New York.  Staying in Harlem.  Don’t ask me.  They got their chance to meet Avery Peppermint in person today, though she started out asleep, squawked a bit, then zonked out again in the Baby Bjorn for the duration.  We love the Bjorn!  Gramma finally got to hold her for a few minutes after lunch, but then the squawking started again.  Good thing they’re here for ten days, or Grampa might get shut out.  These windows of calm alertness aren’t that common.  Though it has to be said, she seems to be a morning person.  Like her mum.  Not so much like her dad.

Her dad recently found out that his assertions of living on a 26 hour clock are entirely on base!  True story!  See, if left to my own devices (like no need to be up at a specific hour the next day) I will stay up a little later every night.  Midnight, 2am, 4am.  The tendency comes and goes.  When it clicks in, it might go a week.  Finally, when dawn pokes me in the shoulder, I’ll force myself to go to bed by midnight and yank the clock back around.  I’m good for a while, but it sneaks back in if I’m not on top of it.  Turns out, the 26 hour day is a real thing.  Also, not much can be done about it.  Fortunately, for me, it’s pretty manageable.  And it “helps” to have a baby waking you up completely randomly no matter what your clock wants to do.

I’m crazy about her, of course.  Even if she is an unreasoning shrieking banshee.  Doesn’t matter.  She’s perfect.