avery

Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat.  Christmas Eve.  A convicted felon – convicted of the manslaughter of his paternal grandmother, btw – obtains a semi-automatic rifle, lights his house on fire to lure emergency teams, and shoots them as they arrive.  Two dead, two hospitalized.  Dear NRA: Can you please stop fucking around and finally admit there is room for discussion on the topic of gun control?  Assholes.  My right to life far, far outstrips your right to compensate for your tiny penii.

Not a great note with which to come back to the blog, but it could hardly be helped.

Let’s bring the focus a little closer to home.  And happy.  My new boots are very happy:

Thank you, my darling wife.  Even if you did it just to shut me up pining for them for the last year.  I love you.

The family Taverner made the journey to Vancouver without mishap.  Avery was in a great mood when we boarded, making friends, and Marjorie’s timely feeding kept her ears clear during takeoff.  Cathay Pacific’s bulkhead row has a flop-down bassinet shelf, so once we were up, she went down.  She slept almost the entire flight, which means we snatched a bit of a nap as well.  When we had to pick her up because of turbulence, it was feeding time again.  Nice.  And the next time she woke up, we were starting our descent and everybody was waking up anyway.  Perfecto.

Grampa David picked us up in the van, which was necessary with three large suitcases, the stroller, the computer bag, the camera bag, and the diaper bag.  We are no longer the masters of travelling light.  Thank you, Grampa David!  Pretty sure we would have needed two of Vancouver’s darling little Prius taxis.

While we’re thanking people, Kathleen moved herself out of the condo for a week so we’d have a family-sized place to sleep, and that’s so very very appreciated.  And Gramma Judy wrangled a crib (via beloved family friend Belinda) and a swing.  I believe I have stressed to you the vital importance of a swing.  Gramma rules!

So far, Avery loves Vancouver.  Fresh air, birds singing in the trees, and loads of people lining up to shower her with affection.  Between brunches, lunches and dinners, she’s been passed around more than the salt.  She’s been all smiles for most of it, and ready to chat anybody’s ears off.  My cheeks are growing biceps from the workout.  Luckily there is beer.

Avery met her future husband, assuming Marjorie and Christie have their way – Christie’s handsome little fella Levi, just eight months older.  He’s got blue eyes exceeded in size only by his cheeks.

 

So many new faces!  But she was up for it.  Her first Christmas has so far been full of warm wonderful family love.

Side note: a year and three months down the road, the wedding cake has not improved in flavour.

We had our obligatory bites, reflected on the amazing marriage that we share, and let that sucker go.  It’s been long enough that I can say it now – that was not a good red velvet cake.  Don’t get me wrong – it was a fantastic looking thing, and it served its purpose with suitable grandeur, but there’s something about that hint of gasoline that never really did it for me.  Ah well, what the cake lacked in edibility the marriage has more than made up for in love.

Tomorrow morning Avery will wake us a little after 7, and then Grampa David will pick us up a little before 8:30 to take us to the other Phillips household – Jeremy, Jody, Ruby, Sonja and Mack are having everyone (everyone!) over for Christmas morning.  It’s a big bursting-at-the-seams happy zoo.  Being such a tiny man, I’ll get myself as much out of the way as possible and watch the chaos.  Someone will bring me prosecco, or perhaps even coffee with Baileys.

And then, after brunch, we’re off to visit the island Taverners.  Robyn, Paul, Liam and Wyatt are already there with Grampa Bob and Gramma Di after surviving the treacherous Coquihalla highway.  We’ll catch the 3pm ferry and be there in time for cocktails.  Giggidy.

Adrian Taverner – family man and loving it.  Who knew.  Maybe some of you knew.  I didn’t know.  Now I know.  A lot.  The Wet Coast it may be, but it’s all sunshine up in here.

Did you miss me?  Did you notice the empty corner of your brain usually occupied by the latest cute pictures of Avery Peppermint?

Oh, so adorable.  But we can go one better, can’t we?

There she is.  Peppermint Elf.  Somehow my cheap editing makes me feel like Stewart & Colbert’s CG team.

How about the newest youngest Phineas & Ferb Phan?

She could watch those guys all day.  Or for ten minutes.  Depending on her hunger level.

She’s three months old today.  To celebrate, we took her to the pediatrician, who stuck her in the leg with a needle.  We are going to have to research “celebrate” in the dictionary, I think.

She did not care for that needle at all.  Her look of pained confusion was heartbreaking.  But to her credit, after a minute of good strong crying, she eased up and took it like a man.  She was quiet all the way home.  We even got a smile out of her.  Dada was very proud of his girl.

So I took a couple days off from writing.  Partly because I didn’t have much else to say in the wake of the horrible event in Newtown.  You just have to get a bit of distance.  Not that you could tell that to the swarms of media dogs that descended on the town, and are there still.  Hopefully the Town Crazy was a solo act, because this sort of frenzy will bring the worst out of people.  Have some respect.  Let these poor folk bury their dead.

Anyway, as I said, I didn’t have much to contribute there that could have been in any way positive.  So I shut up.  Also, I turtled up to fight off a cold as fast as possible.  The worst is past after two days huddled up, so I think that was a wise investment.  I’ve had colds linger for two weeks.  Not this time.  Not when it means I can’t hold my baby girl.  Or my beloved wife, TYVM.  So I quarantined myself off, didn’t breathe on anyone, washed frequently, and drank “plenty” of fluids.  And by “plenty” I mean “boatload” and by “boatload” I mean the levels normally found outside the boat, enabling said boat to float.  Downstream, even.  Bit of a dry cough now, and that’s about it.  Possibly a slightly stunned bladder.  Marjorie took charge of hydration, you see.  She’s very good.

Couple more days and we head back west.  I would say “vacation” but I guarantee I get more rest right here.  By the look of things, we will be going more or less non-stop the whole time we’re there.  Not that I’m in any way not looking forward to it.  I mentioned loving Christmas, right?  And this time I get to introduce everyone to Avery Peppermint.  Best Christmas ever.

It’s good to write again.  I will let ‘er go right here, and see you tomorrow.  Merry Christmas.