I don’t have a new picture of my little bunny today, so here is a different bunny.
Today, despite the lack of pictures, was better. Partly because I managed an hour and a half nap yesterday. Essential survival at this stage. Also, Avery is eating like an eating machine that eats quite a lot. She didn’t nap so well, and she had a couple momentous squawks, but her chubby little cheeks make it all ok. Mum decided that despite the purported benefits of fenugreek, it’s off the list, because side effects can include a restless squawky baby. Not the existence of one, which can’t really be blamed on the fenugreek, but the behavior.
For those of you that are shopping for such things, the Avent bottle we got as a freebie at BuyBuyBaby has turned out to to be the best of our little collection of baby bottles. It features a low flow nipple. As any baby burper will tell you, less air swallowed is a good thing. That low flow nipple thing – that was new for me. I had no idea they came in flows. Important. Also, keep her at a gentle angle so it’s easy to swallow, and hold the angle of the bottle so that the nipple is always full (remember the air thing), but no higher – no need to drown her. If she starts dribbling more than she’s swallowing, give her a break. She needs to catch her breath (or she’s just chewing on it). She’ll squawk, but that’s fine for a few seconds. She’s just being indignant. It’s a good opportunity for a mid-stream burping. Do not neglect the burping for any reason. That includes a diaper change. Burp first. Do not under any circumstances give her a warm bath before burping her. You’re welcome. Nobody wants to take a shower at 4:30 in the morning. Unless it’s a vacation travel day. Then I will do that thing. But always remember the burping. To put it gently, less air in the stomach means more room for keeping the liquids down.
Interestingly, we haven’t used a bib yet. We cut up a few of my old super soft brushed cotton t-shirts. Awesome. I imagine that will change with the volume and blast radius of her meals. Or would it be more politic to say “share radius”. Ha.
Current favourite baby essential – the swing. Without the twenty minute break it buys us, nothing could get done. You know how, when our friends or friends of friends started having kids and they told us all their woes? How sleep was a forgotten luxury, and how they couldn’t get the simplest tasks done in less than quadruple the time it used to take? And how we all sympathized but quietly thought they were probably just out of their depth? And how we could probably do better? Well… I have a better understanding now. I like to think of myself as a strong organizer, in the sense that because of my advanced laziness, I can crystalize any mess down to its component pointy bits and grind them out. For example, I keep the house pretty clean because I hate huge cleanup jobs. A pretty constant low-level maintenance is much easier to deal with than a disaster zone. Because of this sciencified laze, I have identified the baby maintenance essentials, including love and attention, and I can hit those targets as they come. Stay ahead of it, or it will overwhelm you, is the heart of what I’m saying. To bring me back to the original path of this ramble (still with me? yay!) I can say with confidence that despite having a firm grasp of everything that Little Peppermint needs to live and grow, happy and healthy, and despite having an excellent partner in Avery’s mom, and despite having a life-long proven record of systematizing in the pursuit of avoiding great effort, I can say that I have no frickin idea where the time goes.
There are two of us. You’d think that would by definition leave one person free to, I don’t know, handle the world beyond that tiny little girl’s orbit. Take shifts. Tag off. Get stuff done. That’s what I always thought. That’s what every dad in the Western World has believed with casual confidence since… well, since there was a Western World.
Yet we get up, change a diaper, warm a bottle, breast feed, pump, have breakfast– you know what: Marjorie and I have already tried this exercise. It doesn’t translate on paper. The numbers just aren’t there. And it’s not because we’re bad at this. Without feeling cocky about it I think we’re doing a pretty great job. It’s just that, somehow, despite having two capable and level-headed people on the job, the hours drain away.
I think it’s just that we’re used to Accomplishing Things. Things that can be Checked Off The List. You could count the Things Done Today. And these days, the math has changed. Fuzzy logic. Imaginary numbers. Quantum physics. Raising a baby takes a massive amount of energy. Very flexible, patient, and loving energy. Forget your systems. Well, I take that back. Let’s say that systems have to be designed around that most enormous of all random elements: baby. Having two people on the job means having someone with whom you can commiserate. It doesn’t mean the effort is neatly cut in half. Just a sec while I LOL.
Look at the clock. Nearly 1am again. Foolish mortal. Marjorie went to bed before 10. She’s a smart lady. I am a silly man who likes to write at the deep end of the day.
Time to go. The center of my universe needs changing.
Hey. Did you hug somebody? Like I asked?