three bucks, no sense?

This week marks the end of an era. $3 is the minimum price an establishment can charge for a drink. Except for a few loopholes.

Who was the crack addict who said “a drink” is defined as an ounce of 40% alcohol by volume? (roughly a beer, a shot of vodka, or a glass of wine)

So why not leave it at that? A drink is a drink is a drink. But no. You have to complicate things with senseless definitions. Don’t you fools read books? Ask a genie for all the money in the world and *poof* you’ve got it, except you can’t spend any of it because it just keeps reappearing in your horde. The key here is intent, and if you go trying to over-define your intent you just highlight the holes.

The obvious example being drinks like Baja Rosa, a sickeningly sweet confectionary liqueur that only rings in at 17%. Therefore according to the law you can serve mugs of it for a buck if you want to. Amaretto too. Any of the Sours. And so forth.

Hopefully my source on this loophole is wrong and the city wasn’t so stupid. If not then we’ll be seeing an awfully short-lived golden age.

The numbers out in the bars tonight were low all over town, but the three dollar minimum didn’t seem to be stopping anyone who did venture out into the mild from getting blottoed. Nothing like sobriety on the walk home from work for showing a person just how thick drunk people are. The yelling into cell phones. The wandering around the middle of the street in traffic. The urinating in any handy location no matter how exposed (guys and girls).

It’s a true tribute to the power of corporate lobbying that alcohol is one of the few legal narcotics, because man, does it make people stupid.

No, the three dollar minimum won’t hurt businesses at all, nor will it hurt those poor helpless students who can’t get a break because of The Man. Assuming the spirit of the law holds out and three bucks really is the minimum from this point on I predict you won’t even see a bump in the numbers. And of course clubs will be able to get back to the business of making money. They will have to earn your business the old fashioned way- with good service.

Personally, and admittedly I’m biased by ten years’ experience working in the industry, I like the Upstairs. The ol’ UC. You get treated with respect until you act disrespectfully. Regulars are welcomed and they do get some preferential treatment (as they should), but even first timers are treated as potential regulars and that counts for so much in my book. Hell, the club is clean, and that’s more than can be said of some rooms in this town.

Weekends at the UC are packed. With the $3 minimum in effect I imagine Thursdays will continue to gain momentum as people excercise their choices. I’m pretty confident that the room, the staff and the entertainment are high enough calibre that once you’ve tried it you will come back again.

The dj, after all, is very friendly and approachable. =)