eat my flag

futurama2.jpg

Tonight’s episode of Futurama was enough to make me cling to my faith- that somewhere in America there are those smart enough, with perspective enough, to keep things from getting ridiculously out of hand.

It’s Freedom Day, and during the celebrations which included nude hottubbing and scrawling “I hate my job” on banners, Zoidberg eats the Earth flag in his enthusiasm. The Earth flag is the American flag with the stars replaced by a globe. The symbolism can hardly be missed.

The crowd grows instantly hostile and chases him to his embassy, despite his claims of innocence. He was only celebrating his freedom. He was hurting no one. He left his own planet to enjoy the freedom of Earth. He loves Earth. But he stepped outside the boundaries of the definition of freedom. You’re as free as you want to be, as long as you’re following the herd.

During the furor the whole planet (which they say stretches from Dallas to Fort Worth) is salivating for his blood, and all along he’s saying he meant no harm. He was just reveling in the freedom he could not enjoy on his own world.

For a moment it looks like he’ll be protected by the Constitution, but the Supreme Court says no deal, and it looks like he’s screwed. The Earth army decends on the embassy and tries to bash down the door. This, being an act of war, sparks an invasion by Zoidberg’s planet. They utterly conquer & subjugate Earth, and all seems lost as everything goes from worse to worst.

Zoidberg is unapologetic, saying Earth needs to learn to appreciate freedom, and what better way than to lose it?

But when the enslaving government forces kill (or at least stomp) on Zoidberg’s well-meaning Earth lawyer, Zoidberg realizes that he has only exchanged a lesser evil for a greater, and he saves Earth. The government of Earth rewards him publically and invites him to eat another flag. This time the crowd cheers. The end.

What have we learned? Well, I guess that depends on which story you were following- the light-weight comedy or the harsh criticism of American society.

When Johnny Depp, from his villa in France, called America a large, stupid dog that would bite you as soon as lick you, he was immediately crucified in the American media. A week later he recanted, saying he was misrepresented. He said he loved America and the opportunities he had been given. He’s not wrong on either count though, is he? America is slowly and not too subtley bullying and annexing the entire planet, but you can hardly argue that if you’re lucky enough to live in America you don’t have some golden opportunities cross your path.

On one hand you have America, Land Of Opportunity ™ and on the other you have the same tired old toe-the-line conservatism that crushes anyone who criticizes, the same nationalist fanaticism that the persecuted have been running from for centuries… to America. Remember the smugness whenever another defector escaped the Soviet Union? Or at least the cliched plot line? Red October?

There’s no question that most of us would choose the US over Afghanistan or Iraq. All I’m saying is that a necessary factor of having that freedom is allowing others to enjoy that same freedom. And while I grant you that eating the flag that represents that freedom is probably not a great way of expressing your appreciation of it, I’d ask you to grant me that it’s also probably not sufficient reason to string somebody up.

Beware the mob mentality that passes itself of as nationalist pride.

12 thoughts on “eat my flag”

  1. mob mentality/nationalist pride has always been the facade maintained by both US parties. False policy does not die peacefully, and as an example, I’m certain that there are those in power still looking for McCarthy era communists.

    The price of freedom is written in blood, and old ideas are not given up without a fight. I know that it’s no surprise, but it’s still worth stating that most of our politicians are both 1./ out of touch completely with their constituency’s views, and…. 2./ too wimpy and cow tow to party policy so they can be included in the cocktail parties.

    I am so glad to be living in this country; and would have to consider death were I given the choice between Afghanistan, Iraq, or the US. To me, the US is a crime ridden largely un-educated mass of paranoia, and no place for any forward seeing individual.

    “Beware the mob mentality that passes itself of as nationalist pride.” Yup, if there was a thing such as ‘evil’ in the world, THAT would be it. We’ve seen it over and over again throughout history, and to me, is the one thing that blocks freedom.

    We’re not out of this freedom loop yet ourselves, but I do hope we come out of it more civilised than what I forsee for our neighbours to the south.

    I saw tonight’s episode, and I too was impressed by the way they presented the quandry of Dr. Zoidberg.

    Denis

    COMMENT:
    “I am so glad to be living in this country; and would have to consider death were I given the choice between Afghanistan, Iraq, or the US. To me, the US is a crime ridden largely un-educated mass of paranoia, and no place for any forward seeing individual.”

    Come on now. Don’t you feel a bit foolish when you re-read this?

  2. Mrs.A, the younger

    As we (fortunatly) don’t have cable, I haven’t seen the episode. But I can appreciate the sentiment. With all the crap on TV these days it’s nice to see that some writers still use thier own brains.

    For a little mindless fun…Sept 12

  3. Honestly, BuddyBoy, I don’t. He said directly that it’s his opinion. It’s extreme, but nonetheless his heartfelt thoughts. Would I die before becoming an American? I don’t think so. But then, I’d hardly be your typical American, would I.

    I appreciate Denis taking the time to formulate his opinion and to share it here.

    You’re welcome to do the same.

  4. As always, this is a well written blog. Interesting that the US is currently asking the UN for help in Iraq. Apparently the people there aren’t as happy to have the Americans there as the Americans are happy to be there. But still the Americans don’t go home. And all this so that the Iraq people can have freedom. Does this make any sense. Shouldn’t the freedom the Americans fought for include the option to send the Americans home?

  5. I really don’t want to get into a page long reply so I will try and use Mrs.A, the younger’s SEpt 12 game as symbolism.

    I clicked the link and thought how stupid to how brilliant in the same 30 seconds. Of course first I thought they are using the wrong weapon, but of course that has been the problem all along. American, overkill, one step behind.

    Click her link.

  6. Good point Dan- from the beginning it hasn’t been about freedom. Not in Iraq or any other country the US has invaded. It’s been about instituting an American-friendly government. Stamping Western values on Mid-East culture. Freedom is relative, certainly, but it’s also subjective.

    During the early months of the public battle news stories were conflicting. You heard about Iraqi protests at American heavy-handed interference at least as much as you heard about cheering crowds. And now we’re seeing that conflict acted out. There is overwhelming resentment that the liberated people of Iraq can’t have their country back.

    You won’t see the States leave, either. There will always be an excuse to stay. In the American media you’re seeing a lot more criticism now, not about a War On Terrorism, but on the validity of American occupation in a country that has been liberated. According to the published American mandate, the mission has been accomplished. Now the Iraqi people want America to live up to the second half of their promise and get the hell out.

    It remains to be seen if the days of a prosperous and flourishing Iraq return, at least with culture and currency intact.

    Don’t hold your breath.

    As long as we continue to confuse Our Way with the Right Way I don’t hold out much hope for any other culture.

    And yes- click on Tina’s link. That game is a great illustration of the problem.

    You’ve probably also seen in the news that the Anti-Terrorism laws are being used like a bludgeon for all sorts of martial action even on their home turf. I’m hardly surprised.

  7. Leave Iraq?!? I don’t think that would be a good idea just yet. And as for “overwhelming resentment”, I don’t think you can say that just yet DJ. Maybe it’s just a bit of wishful thinking on your part. I’m sure most of the Iraqis happy with American occupation are probably at home or trying to make a living, not out in the streets burning American flags and acting like assholes… making great footage for photojournalists with an anti-American axe to grind. And as for middle eastern culture, it could probably use an infusion of western culture ie. women’s rights, democracy, freedom of speech. I’m always surprised when people refer to “western culture” in such a disdainful way. It may not be perfect, but it is far and away more “progressive” than the middle eastern cultures that so many on the left defend today. What does “progressive” mean to you? Is not liberating Iraq more “progressive” than leaving a dictator in power?

  8. Within the boundaries of inalienable human rights? But that’s the point DJ. The people in Iraq didn’t have any human rights?!?!! This is the case with many places in the middle east. Sure, the Nazis had a great little “culture” that they had built up over several years… but unfortunately they were killing people by the millions. I know moral relativism is the norm with progressive thinking people these days. But it can get a bit ridiculous. Stoning a woman to death for adultery is just not a valid way to promote your culture. Sure, there were some dark days in Judeo-Christian history but it has changed and become more moderate. Something must change in the middle east. Some things just can’t get a pass because it’s a “cultural thing”. What side will you take when (God forbid) one of these Islamic states lobs a nuclear missile at someone? Or will they just be victims acting out after being picked on for so many years?

  9. Why is it anti-American to take pictures of protestors? Isn’t it an inherent right of the Free to protest? Isn’t that very protest a sign of freedom in the Middle East, by your own definition? They’re proving your point for you, and yet you would rather they cowtowed to the invader’s politics.

    To me, “progressive” is political and cultural advancement towards harmony. “Progressive” means protestors are given a venue and their arguments are considered dispassionately and fairly. “Progressive” means human rights are upheld and a People’s right to govern themselves according to the dictates of their culture is paramount, within the boundaries of those inalienable human rights.

    Installing American-friendly government, at the cost of a thousand years of culture, is NOT progressive. It’s expansionist. Might does not make Right, and Our Way is most definitely not always the Right Way.

    Put the shoe on the other foot. The Middle East consolidates and invades America. The nation is utterly subjugated. The arsenal is liquidated or shipped off to the Middle East. So-called Christ-worshippers are summarily detained as high-risk population. Caucasians are treated with suspicion. The underground movement is fierce and hundreds of violent attacks kill many of the key officials along with hundreds of American citizens. The underground manages to insert some operatives into the Middle East and the attacks continue there. Thousands of innocent civilians are killed, but a few government officials are also taken out.

    That’s terrorism, baby, but I’ll bet you’re all for it if it means defending OUR way of life. As long as no one YOU know gets hurt, that is.

    I have yet to say that removing the Iraqi dictatorial government was a bad idea. I am at a loss why you insist on putting those words in my mouth. As I said above- the job’s done. Now get the Heroic American Liberators out and let Iraq have its liberty.

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