sex and violence

In simplest black & white terms, this society finds bloody violence more acceptable, more palatable, than sex.

You are about to protest, but you find yourself nodding.

It’s ridiculous, but the media thinks nothing of showing you all manner of the goriest and most brutal assaults and deaths. Trainwrecks and bombings and thousands of mutilated corpses. Riots and shootouts and trampled mothers-to-be. Shredded flesh. Pools of blood. Severed heads.

But two people, married and making love for the purpose of procreation and the communication of that most beautiful of feelings?

Censored. Banned. Degenerate and pornographic.

Step off the planet for a second and tell me what the message is. Tell me what anyone else, looking in, will think of us.

We’re taught that acting violently will win us respect, admiration, and the adoration of those we desire. We know that if we are wronged we can rise up and destroy our enemies and we will be justified. If we are hurt we can escalate that hurt in return a thousand-fold, and this is appropriate. We are told that there is good and evil, and that I am good, and you are evil. And, perhaps most dangerously, I will win because I am Right. A life for an eye, and genocide for a tooth.

But sex? And masturbation? Filthy. Dark and insidious sin. A delicious and despicable delight of which we must never speak in public, for risk of being thought a sinner. We are so sensuously wicked. We love it, and we hide it. We perpetrate our sin behind each others’ backs, and we commit these crimes even as acts of betrayal.

You tell me the message.

Now it gets confusing- we watch shows about violence and during the commercial breaks we are sold consumer products packaged as sex. Movies are carefully crafted to make violence into something sexy. We see the violent heroes and especially the villains as sexy.

We grow up confused. We fight, because we’re taught that it’s acceptable and that it’s the surest way to get what we want. We fight, and maybe we acquire an image, and maybe people are attracted to us because of that image. We reinforce it, and we continue to be violent to get… what? Power? Sex?

Power? Sex? Are we suddenly talking about rape? How did that happen?

A violent act. A weapon. A tool. Leverage. A step up the ladder. A means to an end. Power. Debasement. Assault. The lowest a woman can go. Pitiable. A contemptible weakness in a man, or his admirable strength. The new Womanhood, or shameful sluttish whoring. Brutal and beautiful. Love and hate.

The lines are all blurry down here. Sex is so confusing, here in the shadows.

But violence! Ah, violence. We always know violence will get us what we want!