metaphorical brachiation

On one of Jen’s last days off we went for a brisk walk around Elk Lake with gurton & Jef. One of those brisk walks on a brilliantly bright day that seem to happen most often right around New Year’s. The path was a little soggy but you would have put up with twice as bad to take advantage of the great light. The walk reminded me of the stunning revelation my sister shared with me and which I am bursting to share with you but not yet… not yet.

So. Here we are. At the shiny end of 2005. Whatever shall we do with it? It’s a handy bookmark for me. I laid some groundwork for a new venture in the closing months of ’04. These fresh new months should see what can be built out of a years’ old desire and a nicely timed kick in the pants. With some vital help from davin & Justin of Pacific Front Recordings I’m hoping to have a marketable storefront in the next month or so. Then I guess the rest is up to me. And you, of course. My 15% offer still stands.

Judd sent me an email. He says I’m too popular. 100 gigs a month in bandwidth. Shnykees. I’m betting I can cut that in half with a more intelligent site design so you can look forward to that pretty soon. Meanwhile I’ve got to sit down with Grant & Judd and the other major players under metroblogs.net and see what makes sense for all of us. I certainly don’t object to paying my share. I had a look at a good deal for a dedicated server for $30US/month but until my web presence is self-sustaining I’d rather go with a roomate or two.

Anyway I’m just writing as I think. No need to bother you with all this.

Things are slowly settling back to normal in hitches and jumps. Sunday night was the staff party for Darcy’s. WDale decided it would be a bar run: like a bar crawl but at maximum velocity. Sauce, Steamers, the Douggie, the Clubhouse, Hugo’s and the Keg. In an hour. Shabam. In the door, count down, pound a pint in relays and zoom off to the next stop. I am pleased to report that my team won. I like to think I played some small part in that. =D

It’s funny though. Jen & I only meant to drop in for a sociable before meeting up with some of the Impromaniacs to go see Ocean’s Twelve. Thanks, Jen. You’re a trooper.

Man. 100 gigs a month. How does that compare with the loads of those of you who track that sort of thing? My blog is admittedly pretty image-heavy. Even the little 3k links in the sidebar add up, I’m sure. Going to have to streamline, babies. And I’m going to give some thought to how I can bounce some spiders. A password gateway or something. It’s not like I’m trolling for random Google hits. That was fun but it’s certainly not a sacrifice if I can bring my usage down. Then again, if 100 gigs is mostly legitimate readership then I’ll just have to move to a bigger apartment.

Didn’t I say I was going to shut up about all that for now?

Anyway, things are settling down. My sister is coming back in to town with Paul and my parents for lunch before hitting the airport. Robyn & Paul are heading back to Calgary a few days early so we don’t get to hang out again like I had hoped. I assume this is just her plan to get me to come visit her there. Fair enough. I reckon it will happen. We’re both old enough now to have real conversations. Being seven years apart doesn’t matter quite so much anymore. She gave me her recipe for Irish Cream. mmmchristmassy

That reminds me- Jen’s parents gave me a waffle iron. bahaha! I love it! I used it the very next day. Thank you very much. Yum. Jen snuck up from behind and took a picture:

Waffles. Where would society be today without waffles? The horror!

They also gave Jen & me a checkers set. Of shot glasses. Again, thank you very much and yum. You folks do spoil a kid.

’04 was a big one. It started with a best friend turning 30, scuttling his company and getting married. He’s largely recovered now (from the scuttling if not the other two) and heading off to Hawaii for two years with his lovely wife, who has been hired by Nasa. True story. In January ’04 I was in a sense cast adrift (to continue smacking the metaphor around). I wasn’t in immediate danger of financial ruin so I experimented a bit. I spent more time being creative and doing things that were clearly Good For Me. I think January is traditionally a time of upheaval for me, sometimes pretty drastic. So when it happens I tend to run with it. Yay improv. =)

This year is similar in the sense that my finances aren’t stellar and my life is in transition. I’m paying the bills and feeding myself and enjoying the occasional treat but I’m not putting anything away. I’m not saving up for a car or a condo at this rate. If the common wisdom is to be believed this is the sort of thing that would have most people gnawing at their wrists. I don’t know. For me it’s good enough for now. I have the most important thing: time.

I don’t mean that in the larger sense. Just that I have time, right now, to be creative. I’m not punching a clock anywhere. I’m not rotting my brain under flourescent lights. I’m not racing anybody’s rats. My biggest problem right now is choosing what to pursue. I love writing and drawing and photography and diving and music and acting and travel and I could go on and on. And I think I’m capable enough that I could do any of that well enough to make a job of it.

And yet here I am: standing at a crossroads with too many forks.

Actually that’s a bad metaphor, and not just because of the confusing cutlery reference. If it were as simple as picking one path I could do that. I’ve never had a problem making that sort of absolute decision. This is more like climbing a tree. You can clamber around amongst intertwining branches for a long way up, but the higher you go the harder it is to reach the more distant branches. It’s not that doors are closing. It’s that I have to let some options go so I can make a real move on others.

So it’s a good thing I commited to this fabulous camera and the will to justify having it. I want to become more than an advanced amateur photographer. I want to know every nuance of shutter and aperture and I want to look back on decades of experience and experimentation. I want to make enough to live on, sure, but what I love about this path (or this branch) is that if I’m savvy enough I can make a living doing something I love (again).

This generation, or that portion of it that has the means and the access, is realizing that we can do that. We don’t have to have A Career. We don’t have to be Joe The Butcher or Jane The Lawyer for our whole lives. We can explore a lot more. Try a few things out and if you don’t like them then get out while you can. Leave it to someone who does love it. Go chase the things you want. Keep your sense of wonder with you your whole life. Do not be afraid to try. Only be afraid of not trying.

So. Here I am. At the shiny end of 2005. I’m going to hold on to the secret and I’m going to keep on climbing this tree. Must be one hell of a view from up there.