dec 25 03

haha! too funny. i just posted on Alison’s blog. we totally blogged right past each other. shweet.

it’s been a good day. a long walk through the woods and around the cove. filled up the flash card with pics worth keeping. built a cairn at the end of the breakwater while I thought about people I love. lots of deep breathing and even smiling to myself.

this morning was good too, though I miss my sister. she headed up to Prince George again to be with Paul’s fam. s’okay, I’m a very patient brother. then again, if i don’t see her for xmas next year there may be one dead meat sister. =) I confess I was a bit pouty when I heard she wasn’t coming. I went so far as to not get her (or Paul, her husband) anything. I will of course, but it’ll be late. she’s earned that much, missing two xmasses with her brother. *evil grin*

the ‘rents are good. retirement is good to them. no more alarm clocks. mom still gets up with the sun anyway. which is fine because that means breakfast is ready when I get up. rough, very rough.

mom had decided the tree would look better near the foot of the stairs, where there’s a bit more room, so there we were, sitting on dining room chairs in the hallway & passing prezzies. *shrug* the tree looked good anyway.

dad loves his backpack and even though mom’s new pjs are too big she’ll enjoy exchanging them.

the highlight of my booty this year is the dremel flexible head attachment thingy. it’s bendy. woo! I have this dream of making my own chess set. and stuff. not much you can’t do with a dremel, baby. robyn made me a hemp necklace (which only fits as a doubled-up bracelet, but I love it anyway) and she got me a wicking shirt and some uber socks, and included a note saying they were for the hike we’re eventually going on together. it’ll happen. soon…?

and now I’m cruising the blogs, saying hullo and seeing what’s up. I think it’s very cool that most of us are blogging today. comparative experience is kinda what this dealio is for, yes? there’s a lot of love out there, and even though it takes one designated day out of the year to make us all show it at the same time, at least we’re showing it. it’s enough to give you hope, you know?

hope…

I sent out a few text messages today to people I haven’t talked to in far too long. one of them to one of the most important people in the world to me. just a “merry christmas, hope you’re happy & warm”. then I hit the shower & missed her call. she left a message saying that she was happy to hear from me, that she still thought of me too, but could I please not get in touch with her. whut? her current bf is at the high end of insecure, evidently. he checks her messages. he checks her email. wtf? i really wanted to call her up & demand to talk to this guy. not just to take his head off for treating her badly, but to try to talk some sense into him. seriously- does he think this sort of behaviour is endearing? does he think this will bring them closer together?

I itched to get on a plane.

but she said (in her message) that she was working on getting herself “out of this situation” and I should just wait for her to contact me.

so… I’m trying to think of the last time I stood by while someone important to me was in an abusive relationship.

I should qualify. she didn’t say anything that led me to believe she’s being physically abused. if that were the case I would be on a plane. after everything this girl had to put up with from me there isn’t a lot I wouldn’t do for her.

anyway. as difficult as it is I’m going to let this one ride for a little while. see how long I can hold my breath. she said she’s taking care of it and she’d get in touch. well. life’s too short and she deserves too much to put up with anything less than the best. long ago we figured out that there’s been too much water under the bridge for us to be together, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less of a friend. if she says the word, I’m there, guns blazing and a big red “S” emblazoned on my blue spandex shirt.

I guess it’s because I know her as a very strong, very smart, and very wise person. she is that “short skirt, long jacket”. so if I hear that she’s in something she can’t get clear of, for whatever reason, then it’s gotta be pretty messy, and maybe a bit of the knight in shining armour struggles to get out.

at the same time, my respect for her demands that if she says she’s got it all under control, then I have to assume that’s exactly how it is. for the moment. like I said, we’ll see how long I can hold my breath. and go do some pushups. =)

Merry Christmas to all. I hope you are happy, safe, and warm.