Man, I just had an epiphany.
I’m sitting here, at my desk, admiring my bikini.com calendar (ah, Jennifer, my love) and it flickered through my mind to wonder, “why breasts?”
Years and years ago I saw this science show and they spent an hour trying to decipher the evolutionary mystery of the human female breast.
“Why?” they cried out into the universe. “They don’t need to be so big! Why are they so big?”
They decided that one very strong theory was that the two breasts and the cleavage they create resemble buttocks, suggesting the view presented by the traditional mating position.
Yeah. Very convincing argument. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but here’s a better argument.
… which is to say that men seeking a mate will be drawn naturally toward those who seem more able to rear a healthy child. Only the strong survive, you see. And clearly, large breasts are full of sustenance.
Well, I don’t know if it has to be pointed out but that’s actually not really true at all. Just about any size breasts produce about the same amount. It’s glandular, not globular. HA! hAHahahaha! I made a funny.
[ahem] Nevertheless, men being what we are, we think larger containers must necessarily hold more, so there you have it. Pure genetic selection. I wonder if Darwin ever thought about this one?
As a representative of the small breasted community, I feel obliged to tell my sisters to run free and wild! Shake it ladies. Rowr.
To the rest of you… gravity’s a bitch aint it? ;)
COMMENT:
Haha… I am sure Darwin thought of breasts, too, DJ.
;)
Seinfeld-ism: Men and cleavage are like woman and shoes. No matter how many times you have seen it before you still have to look.
I don’t know either Dj. But I will tell you this: I promise to look into the subject :)
Anyone want to fund a research project?
I think all the sistahs should run wild and free too. Off with those restraining clothes! Off, I say! Set ’em free!
The world will be a better place.
True story- somewhere around late ninety-three it became legal for women in Victoria to go topless wherever a man could. Equal rights, you see. You’d think more women would excercise their rights.
Some shouldn’t. Neither should some men.
*shudder*
I’M SORRY! I’ll keep my damn shirt on! *sobs*
i have heard that some guys aren’t into big breasts… i think small breasts are fabulous.. girls with small breasts can go bra-less and they look great. they just look so nice under a shirt that way, like they almost want to jump off her chest.. like dancers breasts…
big breasts have their good points, don’t get me wrong, but they are just so obvious and clumsy sometimes…